Learning that Sometimes ... Life Hurts

Even at a very young age, Little Bear is learning that life isn't always fair and that sometimes it just plain hurts! The lessons at this age are simple ones: being forced into the car seat when she'd rather stay in my arms, toppling over while seated and bonking her head on the floor, waving a toy in the air - only to have it, also, bonk her on the head (that one actually just happened while I was writing this intro.).

As a mother, hearing that wail that I've come to know as Little Bear's "I'm unhappy and hurting" cry always takes my breath away, even if just for a moment. It must be physiological and instinctual, something ingrained deep inside a mother's being. It's that "mother bear" in all of us, ready and willing to protect our child - no matter the consequences. Learning to set that instinct aside when appropriate isn't always easy.

When Little Bear topples over and bonks her head on the floor, my first instinct is to scoop her up and comfort her. And sometimes, after a really hard fall, this is exactly what she needs. But most times, what she really needs is simply some reassurance that everything is okay. And this can be done with a simple look from me ... with a smile and calm eyes, rather than a look of panic. Often I will simply set her back upright and say, "You're okay." I find myself saying this a lot lately as Little Bear tests her physical strength more and more each day.

It's a great responsibility, being in charge of life lessons for another little human being as she grows and learns. It's a wonderful privilege, too. We want Little Bear to understand that in order to grow and succeed, risks must be taken (wanting that toy just out of reach might mean toppling over!) ... and that sometimes she'll get hurt along the way (it doesn't feel good at all to fall on your face, either as an infant or as an adult). But we also want Little Bear to know that getting hurt doesn't mean she should stop ... and it doesn't mean that someone is always going to be there to comfort her (though sometimes, of course, we will). Hopefully Little Bear will learn that life isn't always fair, that it sometimes hurts, and that that is okay. Sometimes she simply has to learn patience and acceptance (sorry, kid, you have to stay in the car seat another 15 minutes), and other times she will master what she set out to do (it took her 3 tries, but she finally grabbed that green ball she wanted). Learning when to let go and when to keep at it is a life lesson we all could use more work on.

The world can be a big and scary and wonderful place, filled with unexpected pot-holes, difficult lessons, pain. hurt, and beautiful surprises. Preparing Little Bear for this big world can seem a daunting and impossible task at times. But then I see the little lessons she is learning each day, and I am comforted, knowing she will be ready ... in time ... to step into that big and wonderful (though sometimes painful) world.