Elimination Communication: Little Bear Goes on Strike

I read that sometime in the later months of EC-training (especially during teething), babies will often "go on strike" with the potty. In other words, they won't use it. The words of advice I gathered from the articles and chapters I read on EC suggest that you simply keep putting baby on the toilet and they will eventually resume where they left off. In some cases, they will even show a big improvement!

For about 6 days now Little Bear has been "on strike." She simply refuses to pee in her potty most of the time. Today we have had zero pees. Yesterday I think we had one, perhaps two. At the same time, we have been catching almost all of her poops! She only goes every few days now and waits until I give her the "shhhhhhhh" cue to push it out. Makes cleaning up messy diapers much easier!

Little Bear IS teething right now (she turns 6 months on January 24th). We also recently moved, so we have all been under more stress than usual. So I'm not sure if it is the move or the teething that has caused the current pee-strike. Either way, we continue to put Little Bear on her potty and I'm positive that we'll be back on track in no time!

PS - As I am finishing this post, Dad just hollered from the other room that Little Bear just peed in her potty. So the count for today stands at one.

Elimination Communication: Little Bear's Story

As mentioned in the previous post on Elimination Communication (EC), I started working with Little Bear when she was about 6 weeks old. Everything I read said you can start right from birth, but I was so overwhelmed with becoming a new mother I didn't feel ready to add EC to the mix. So right around 1 1/2 months we decided to get serious. I had noticed that upon waking I would go to check her diaper - only to have her actually begin peeing with the diaper open. As soon as I would see her begin to pee, I would begin to make a pssssssss sound close to her ear. I noticed a very similar pattern after eating. Usually within 10 minutes of breast-feeding, Little Bear would fuss due to a wet diaper. Then another 10 minutes would go by, and another wet diaper would appear!

This is the beginning of EC training: learning your baby's patterns and cues. To make it easier for me, I actually undiapered Little Bear for several days, simply laying her on a cloth diaper (cloth diapering is a MUST if using EC as it alerts the baby immediately when they have wetted). This helped me to better learn the subtle cues she would give off right before peeing. It wasn't always an easy process. We had (and still have) a lot of "misses" (wet diapers). But slowly, over a period of days and weeks, I noticed progress. Immediately upon awakening I would hold Little Bear over her potty (she was so small at that point that I would simply hold her legs in a squatting position over the Baby Bjorn). I would make a psssssss sound and, more often that not, she would pee! Similarly, about 10 minutes after eating I would offer her the potty as well. Sometimes it would take 30-60 seconds of holding Little Bear over the potty for her to finally go. At first I could count the number of successes each day: "We had 4 pees in the potty today!" Most days now, I count the number of misses!

There are two points I must make on EC. First of all, we still have "good" and "bad" days. A lot of this, I believe, is simply related to whether or not I am really listening to Little Bear. Some days I am more focused on other things and less tuned in to her needs. She fusses, and I ignore her. Inevitably, she wets herself (I still use cloth diapers on her because of this). Other days, I am very focused on her and offer her the potty immediately when she fusses. Those days, she uses the potty. So having a "good" or "bad" day, I believe, is more related to how tuned in the caregiver is to their baby. Second, don't get overly attached to the outcomes! I found myself (a type-A personality to begin with) falling into this trap the first few weeks. I would get frustrated that sometimes an entire day would go by with only one (or zero!) successful pees. This only frustrates you as a parent, which your baby immediately picks up on. Some days Little Bear would scream and cry when I'd try to put her on the potty, but I was insistent and would keep at it. I'm not sure this was the best technique. Now I try to be more lenient with her. If I am pretty sure she has to go (first thing in the AM) but she arches her back and cries - I usually calmly talk to her and make her sit longer. If I'm just offering her the potty because I think it's time, I don't make her stay on it when she is upset. I'm trying to use my mother's intuition more and more.

With all that set, she is not as consistent as I thought she might be. Sometimes I will take her to the potty and she is sitting in a SOAKED diaper, with no complaints! When she is playing and laughing a lot, she won't bother to tell us that she had to pee, either.

We've also started giving a sign with our hands while she is peeing. Supposedly this will help her to communicate her need to use the potty when she is not yet verbal. We'll see!

All in all, I am VERY happy to be using EC with Little Bear. It is not for everyone. It is also more work in some ways. It is definitely more work than simply tossing away a disposable diaper several times a day. Yet it is SO rewarding to know that Little Bear and I are communicating. You can almost see the sigh of relief from Little Bear when I "get" her cue and take her directly to the potty. I feel like she is saying, "Thank you! I really didn't want to pee on myself!"

Elimination Communication: An Introduction

During my pregnancy a friend gifted me with a subscription to Mothering Magazine - a magazine dedicated to "natural family lifestyles." It is filled with a wealth of wonderful information and ideas about pregnancy, birth, and parenting children of all ages. It was there, in Mothering Magazine, that I first learned about Elimination Communication (EC). I was fascinated. Here was an article stating that over half the world's population to not diaper their babies! That from day one, mothers learn the cues of their infant son or daughter. Just like a newborn cries when she is hungry, a newborn will also alert a parent to when she needs to pee or poop! I was disbelieved. As a nurse, I had learned that babies were unaware of their elimination needs. Yet the article gave story after story of mothers using EC with their infant children. It stated that it is only after diapering a baby (specifically, diapering with disposable products that absorb urine so that the baby feels dry despite sitting in a wet diaper), that a baby loses this ability to recognize when she needs to pee or poop (roughly around 6 months of age). They must then relearn this ability while toilet training.

Everything I've read on EC states that most children raised using this method are exclusively using the toilet for peeing and pooping by 14-16 months. Before this time a baby is aware of his need to eliminate, but lacks the ability to "hold it" for any length of time. It is like they are aware of the sensation that they have to go, they give the cue (fussing or squirming seems to be the most common cue), and then it is up to the parent to quickly get them on the potty. Otherwise, they will eliminate wherever they are at. However, by age 14-16 months (according to the research I've done), children appear to have more control over their bladder and bowels. They can, at this point, clearly communicate a need to go potty, as well as hold it for a period of time.

I liked the idea of EC because: 1) it reduces the amount of laundry each week since we exclusively use cloth diapers on Little Bear, 2) when most parents are beginning the process of potty training, we will be completely finished with it, 3) it fosters a deeper level of communication between Little Bear and myself, and 4) once I realized that Little Bear was trying to tell me she was uncomfortable and wanted to pee ... how could a stand ignoring her needs!

Little Bear and I have been using EC since she was 6 weeks old. I will write a separate post on our personal methods and experiences. Below is a list of several websites I used when researching Elimination Communication:

Excerpt from "Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering" by Sarah J Buckley, MD

Youtube video

Babies Today

Discovery Health