Breastfeeding & Sore Nipples

This is my first post that directly references breastfeeding, though I promise there will be many more in the weeks and months ahead. I am an avid believer that, whenever possible, breast milk should be a baby's only source of food for the first 6 months of life. Because formula companies almost ended breastfeeding back in the 1940's, nearly two generations of women were raised without putting their own children to their breasts. The image of a baby eating was synonymous with an infant with a bottle in his mouth.

When I gave birth to Little Bear at age 29, I had only witnessed firsthand one or two babies breastfeeding. My knowledge on the topic was limited to what I read online or in books, or what my own mother and midwives shared. My mother told me that breastfeeding would come naturally, because babies are made to breastfeed, and we are made to feed them. She said that my nipples would toughen up and eventually it would be second nature. She told me to feed the baby when the baby cried. My midwives gave me instructions on proper latch, when to breastfeed, etc. They also instructed me to feed Little Bear for 20 minutes every 3 hours. Some of the books I read reiterated this recommendation. My mother made it sound so simple; the midwives and books made it sound a little harder.

And I'll be honest, it wasn't easy at first. And I did struggle. Little Bear was learning, I was learning, and we had our fair share of frustrations. Little Bear would make a very loud slurping/clicking sound with her tongue when she fed. My midwives told me to pull her off the breast and start over with a wider latch if she did this because it would make my nipples sore. I would pull Little Bear off, start over, she'd make the slurping/clicking noise, I'd pull her off, start over, etc. I wanted to cry. Little Bear would cry. It was awful. And my nipples DID hurt. At first they were just a little sore. After a week I dreaded the next breastfeeding session, always relieved when it was over for another few hours. My nipples burned every time anything touched them. I even started pumping once or twice a day to give them a rest. My midwife gave me exercises to try and help Little Bear stop the slurping/clicking sound. They didn't work.

It took almost 2 months before my nipples stopped being sore. But guess what, my mother was right. They toughened up and quit hurting. Sometimes I think I made it harder than I needed to. I can't help but wonder if I listened to my mother's advice and just let it all go ... if it would have been easier. Perhaps my nipples would have hurt, but perhaps I would have been more okay with it. Instead, I felt like Little Bear was nursing "wrong," I was doing something "wrong," and that we needed to "fix" something. I can't tell you how frustrating that was. If I didn't have the expectation that my nipples should stop hurting after 4-5 days (as all the books say), then maybe I would have been okay. Maybe I would have accepted sore nipples as part of becoming a new mom, instead of feeling like I was doing something wrong.

A few things I found helpful: Lanolin ointment (a natural oil taken from sheep wool), frequent feedings, and time.

I think that I will do a few things differently the second time around. I don't plan on keeping track of time and feedings the way I did with Little Bear. Women didn't have clocks for thousands of years and babies still managed to get fed. I hated looking at the clock and deciding if it was time to feed or not. Relying on Little Bear's hunger cues would have been a better indicator of when to feed. It also would have helped to strengthen that very intimate mother-baby communication which is so important! Staring at a clock instead of listening to my baby was, I believe, a mistake. I will also not try to over-correct my baby's latch. While a wide "fish mouth" is important, it is fairly easy to tell when they have just the nipple or more. Getting worked up about more detail than that is, in my opinion, only going to frustrate everyone involved. Of all my friends that had babies the past several years, ALL of them said that they had sore nipples for an extended period of time. In other words, perhaps that 5-6 day thing is not as normal as they make it sound. Perhaps sore nipples, on the other hand, IS normal.

I feel strongly that I share my story with others because I know women who gave up nursing because of sore nipples. They felt that after several weeks that they shouldn't hurt anymore and that something was wrong. I want to tell women that mine hurt for a long time. But if you keep with it, it does get better. And before you know it, breastfeeding will become a very intimate, enjoyable time together. It does happen. And the hours, weeks, months, and years spent with your little one on your chest is more than worth the brief pain of sore nipples. Of that, I'm certain.